It’s the weekend and time to make the call to your mother back home. But when she answers, her voice is slurred and she’s talking about things that don’t make sense.
Something is wrong.

Strokes can happen at any time. A myriad of medical conditions can happen at any time in men and women over a certain age.

Your mother has suddenly gotten old and you realize the clock has ticked to the time that comes to many of us. It is now she who needs looking after not you.
It is a role reversal that can create headaches, and be a shock to the system.
You can make the job easier by thinking ahead and discussing the options with your parents while they are still in sound mind. This not only helps with planning, but also lets them know that you care and are thinking about their welfare.

At the very least, you can have contact numbers on hand for elderly service providers for when the crisis comes, particularly if you live a long car ride or plane trip away. Know their doctors’ names and have a copy of their medicare numbers, if they have them.
Exchange phone numbers with one of their neighbors for emergencies and make sure you have a set of keys for their home.

Keep a list of their medication, including dosage. This includes non-prescription drugs as well as prescription drugs, as there can be side effects when drugs interact.
Once the shock wears its way out of your system, if it ever does, there are not just emotional, but financial and practical matters to consider.

Where are their important documents, like wills, kept? Someone should be made enduring power of attorney to handle financial and legal matters. All paperwork such as bank statements, records of mortgage or rent, insurance policies, taxation, benefits and welfare, should be in order.

Caring for the elderly is tough, and with life expectancy rising, the chances you will be faced with this dilemma are growing. In fact, as the population ages, caring for the elderly parents while working is set to become one of the biggest challenges facing people all over the world.

What do you do?

If they are no longer capable of looking after themselves, you can move them into your own home, but what about your spouse and children? How will they react? Do you have the space? Are you equipped to look after someone who cannot look after themselves? You may have to consider wheelchair access, and other alterations to your home to make life easier for your parent.

Perhaps the parent doesn’t want to live with you. Maybe they will refuse to leave their own home, where they may have lived all their life, despite what the Doctor orders.
They could be vulnerable if left living on their own though, so keep a close eye on them, and find out about local home care agencies. You could investigate Meals- on-Wheels, transport options, and assisted living. You may be surprised at the community resources that are available.

There could be conflict. Involve siblings in discussions, if you have any, and their husbands or wives.

Share the burden.

There’s a nursing home, or retirement village, but costs can spiral and if you are not well-off then it can be a struggle. Fees are often not included in national health services. And arrangements care can take weeks, if not months.

Will you have to take time off work? Can you take time off work?

There is a mountain of things to consider.

What’s likely to hit hardest s the emotional aspect of seeing a once active and proud parent frail, and in some cases, incapacitated?

Even a slow decline can come as a jolt.

Looking after elderly parents can be a stressful period of your life, an anxious period. And it can arrive suddenly.

Jamie

Caring for an elderly individual requires patience, dedication, understanding, and compassion.

Those of us who undertake this challenging, yet rewarding experience know that the road is sometimes difficult. We can feel frustrated or overwhelmed at times, when caring for aging parents, a spouse, or other loved one. The situation becomes even more challenging when you are caring for the elderly with a dire medical condition, such as diabetes. If you’re in this delicate position, you know this task can be very rewarding, since you’re able to show your loved one how much you care by assisting them with their needs. If you’re caring for an aging parent with diabetes, there are a few things you may expect to encounter during your time with them. By being informed, you can be prepared for these challenges:

Challenges with Diabetes Testing

As a diabetes patient ages, skin becomes more sensitive, losing its elasticity and becoming thin and fragile. Pricking a patient’s fingertip might not be the most easily accepted method of blood sugar testing. If they are hesitant, consider one of the newer types of glucose meters that require less blood with each reading. These models can be used under the arm, where nerves are farther apart than the fingertip, causing less pain. That should make both you and your elderly parent with diabetes very happy!

Challenges with Circulation

You are probably aware of the complications that can arise from a diabetic patient’s lack of proper circulation to their extremities. In elderly patients, consider massaging foot rests that restore circulation to the legs and feet. Help by preparing meals rich in vitamins, nutrients, and ingredients, like garlic and onion, that regulate blood pressure and promote good heart health, which will increase proper circulation.

Challenges with Insulin Injections

Aging hands are not as steady or precise as they once were; how can you make it easier for your loved one with diabetes to give themselves insulin? Advances in glucose meters and insulin delivery systems make it easier than ever to pump insulin when needed. Older, wired versions, while eliminating the hassle and mess of needles were cumbersome and don’t always work properly. Today’s digital versions, such as the Omnipod, deliver a precise measurement of insulin when needed, based on the wireless readings of a glucose meter. These little devices can store as much as three days worth of insulin and attach to the body in an out-of-the-way place for quick, convenient insulin injection.

Caring for an elderly parent isn’t always easy, especially with the addition of conditions such as diabetes. However, modern medicine goes a long way towards making the lives of a caretaker, and their diabetes patient, easier. Stay informed about advances in the diabetic supply [http://www.getyourdiabeticsupplies.com] industry in order to overcome these challenges. It will help make the time you spend with your loved ones less about their diabetic condition, and more about sharing quality time.

Stacy

Caring at home for the elderly is a very important function as part of the overall health service all over the world. However it does put a huge burden on the home situation when it comes to looking after elderly parents or relatives. This burden can come in two ways one is the mental burden of looking after somebody every single day and having to do the same thing every single day; the other one is financial. Even if a parent or relative is not in the home care situation they are probably in a nursing home which has to be paid for. Having a relative in a nursing home can be very costly and as the recession deepens and more and more people lose their jobs it is getting harder for people to support their parents either at home or in a nursing home.

I was very taken aback by a show that I listened to on the radio this week where people were ringing up and pouring their hearts out about their own situations. It was a mixture of home carers and families supporting their love ones in a nursing home. People were talking about becoming unemployed and having no income coming in to the house wondering how they were going to live and also how they’re going to continue to pay for nursing home bills. The emotional burden that this was putting on people was enormous and families are really finding it hard to cope. The one sentence that really caught me was when a woman said that she almost wished her parent to die so that burden would be lifted and she could get on with her normal life. The pressure that somebody has to be under in order to say something like that must be enormous and is very hard to understand and also very hard to resolve. Especially where the relative is in a nursing home and the only thing that will resolve the situation is money and where is the money going to come from? Nobody was able to answer that question.

In fact I listened to the show for about two hours and I was glad that people had the chance to publicly raise the issue in the hope that something might be done but what I was disheartened about was the lack of possible solutions support that was aired on the show. There was very little answers to the problems people were having. Should the government step in and look after these people? Unfortunately the government don’t have the funds either.

While it’s not a solution but if there is family support there might be a way to ease the pressure and this could make a huge difference. Without families getting together to do what they can it is almost impossible for one person to take on the burden. I don’t see any other short-term solution to the problem. The one thing that people have more of is time. Because of the recession more people are out of work but also they should have the ability to give their time when in the past they didn’t. Just in the same way as children are being minded in the home a lot more as more people are out of work the same should apply for the week and the vulnerable.

Erica

One day you realize that mom or dad can no longer live in their own home alone. It seems like yesterday your parents made all the decisions and cared for you. Suddenly, you are faced with caring for them. You want your parent to stay happy and comfortable. together you made the decision not to move them into an assisted living or nursing facility. After discussing living options with your parent, you decide that mom or dad should move in with your family.

This is no easy task. Many choices have to be made. You have to understand that many changes will take place in everyone’s lives. Many changes will take place in your families schedule and living arrangements. No matter how good your relationship is with your parent, living together will at times become uncomfortable and difficult. It can bring on added stress, tension and conflicts.

Rearranging your family household and way of life will not be easy. Staying calm in trying situations is the best thing to do. Separate your emotions from the situation that may be bothering you. Remember this is just as stressful, if not more stressful for mom or dad. Make them feel involved. Let them help, if they can, with easy tasks around the house. Invite neighbors and friends to visit, giving you some time for you. Help them retain their dignity and make them feel comfortable like they did in their own home. Years of their own way of life have just been turned upside down. Now they have to depend on someone else. For years they were independent. Now they need a helping hand. Reaching out and giving them that helping hand means the world to them.

Set up some boundaries. Give everyone their own space. Make sure that everyone has private time. This will help the whole family feel more comfortable. Most important, keep the lines of communication open between you and your parent. By simple communication you can always address issues that arise that may be bothering you or your parent. Retain a sense of humor, or at least try. Always treat each other with respect and love. It is always good to get things in the open instead of keeping it inside.

If mom or dad needs supervision, it may be more difficult on your family. Days may have to be rescheduled to ensure that someone is always home. If you find that you are having a difficult time handling the situation, in-home care services are a good option to assist in the care of a parent. Home care can reduce some of the burden on you and your family. In home care can help you maintain your way of life, your scedule and let you continue to live your live like you used to. Don’t allow yourself to become physically and emotionally depleted. Supplemental in-home care can help families overcome some hurdles when caring for a loved one. In-home care is a more affordable option to a nursing facility as well.

As oppose to assited living or nursing facilities, a loving family home provides the much important social setting our elderly parents need to continue living a healthy, comfortable, joyful way of life. Sharing your home with a parent is the most caring, loving and rewarding experience you will ever have. Even though you may feel crazy, emotional, depressed and angry at times. The great memories you are making will last for the rest of your life.

Elderly people live a healthier and better quality of life when they are surrounded by their family. Grandchildren can spend precious time with grandma or grandpa that can never be replaced. Always remember they are your parent. They are reaching out to you now. They love you very much. Let them continue to share their love with you and your family.

Jesus

Stroke cause my mother’s dementia. She did not have Alzheimer’s, but her doctor said the diagnosis did not matter; the results were the same. I moved my mother to Minnesota and was her family caregiver for nine years. Though she had an apartment in an assisted living high rise, I had daily contact with her.

I also had regular conferences with the staff. My mother’s increasing memory problems worried me. At each conference I asked, “Is it time to transfer my mother to nursing care?”

“Not yet,” was the answer. “We will tell you when.”

Caring for my mother became increasingly difficult. She was angry all the time, kept getting lost, threw out two sets of hearing aids, stole from other residents, hoarded food on the window sill, and became an addictive spender. All this while I was trying to make her meager funds last. Sometimes I thought I would die before my mother.

One winter evening, when the wind chill was 70 degrees below zero, my mother decided to leave. Mom called to tell me the news. “You don’t want me any more,” she shouted, “so I’m going to visit friends on Long Island.” But the friends she mentioned had all died. I called her physician and he wrote orders transferring her to nursing care.

Observing my mother’s steady decline taught me about Alzheimer’s and other memory diseases. What are the early warning signs? The Alzheimer’s Association has 10 warnings on its Website. They include problems with short-term memory, difficulty with problem-solving, losing the ability to do familiar tasks, time and space problems, inability to read, speech problems, losing things, poor judgment, social withdrawl, and personality changes.

Mom had all of these symptoms, but changes in her personality were hardest for me. During my childhood years we were more like sisters than mother and daughter. Dementia made us adversaries and it broke my heart. Your heart may be breaking now if your loved one’s personality is changing.

The National Institute on Aging lists other symptoms of memory disease. One, asking the same question over and over again, made me think of my mother. Her recurring question: “Will you take me shopping?” Every time I heard the question I winced. Telling Mom she she was out of money had no effect at all. She kept opening charge accounts and I kept closing them.

The problem with early warning signs of Alzheimer’s is that many of them are characteristic of normal aging, according to a World Science Website article, “Alzheimer’s Warning Signs Show Up Years Before Diagnosis.” The article notes that Alzheimer’s “causes general deterioration and tends to follow a stable preclinical stage with a sharp drop in function.”

You may already know this. One thing you may not know — people with Alzheimer’s often plateau for a while, and then cognition drops again. This may cause you to question your observations, and indeed, your sanity. So when you see an early warning sign of Alzheimer’s write it down and date it.

Knowing the early warning signs of Alzheimer’s helps you, the caregiver, and other family members prepare for what is ahead. You may have to sort household goods, arrange for smaller living space, update a will, track investments, change banks, get Power of Attorney, and take other steps to protect your loved one. These are hard times, but they are loving times. You are returning the love you were given so long ago.

Copyright 2009 by Harriet Hodgson

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