Carol McGowan RN and Cindy Streekstra RN asked:


The person providing the hands-on or direct care is often viewed as the only caregiver. However, there are many other tasks that need to be addressed as families take over responsibilities that their aging loved ones can no longer take care of.

The Challenge - Families view the person providing the direct (hands-on) care as the only caregiver.

It is common that the “entire family unit” does not see themselves as “caregivers” with multiple tasks. Usually, the attention is drawn to the family member who is willing to provide the physical care. Whether you are providing the “hands-on” care or are coordinating with other family members for the provision of care, you are still a caregiver.

The Solution - Identify how your family will divide the responsibility for providing care.

1. Consider the different types of responsibilities involved in the entire process of caregiving.

• Anticipating and thinking ahead to what may be needed:

o Health care decisions

o Housekeeping, cooking, shopping

o Financial and legal responsibilities

• Overseeing what is needed to ensure the care needs are being met

• Arranging for care

• Providing the hands on physical care

2. Ask your aging loved ones who they are comfortable with to handle the different tasks. Often, they have already decided who they want to be responsible for certain tasks, example, medical decisions and legal affairs.

3. Explore what responsibility each family member is comfortable with and what task/tasks they are willing to commit to. Many factors can enter in, distance from the older adult, other personal and family responsibilities, relationship with the older adult.

4. Set up a system of communication between all family members.

• Is there a “team leader” who coordinates the communication

• Who needs to know what

• How often does each person need to be in touch

• How are differences in opinion going to be handled between the family members

5. As individual and family circumstances change, the roles and responsibilities may need to change. At some point outside resources may need to be used to support the changing care needs.

Whenever possible, keep your loved ones in the center of the decision making process. Ask for their input and recommendations. Give them as much control over the decisions as possible.

These are often difficult discussions to have because family members may not want to commit to specific caregiving tasks. Planning for the future is challenging because the future is an unknown.

Engage your family members in the discussion about caregiving roles and tasks.

Have your older loved ones identify whom they may want to do specific tasks. Family members may need time to think about what roles and tasks they are willing to agree to. Identify the coordinator or the person who will communicate the status of things and what needs to be done. Put the plan on paper, knowing that it is a starting point, is flexible and can be changed.



Jeremy

Jim Brown asked:


Many families can find helpful information on elder care through various websites on the Internet. The elder care information might help them find a caregiver for a relative that can not tend to their own needs due to surgery or long-term illnesses. The information that is available to families will tell them which caregivers are available on a 24-hour basis and those that can be called to sit with the elderly while relatives are at work.

Many of the websites that provide helpful information on elder care update their information on a daily basis. Changes in Medicaid coverage or recently discovered methods of treating long-term illnesses are available to anyone who has the time to browse the sites and find the information that is most beneficial to them. Some may want to sign up for email lists that keep them appraised of all changes to care regulations that are enforced by the Federal Government.

Other helpful information on elder care might help family members locate lenders that provide health care loans, or the information that is provided might entice an elderly person to join an exercise group that meets twice at week at a local medical healthcare facility or at a mall, where the many hours of fun and friendship will bring the elderly person’s spirits up a notch or two.

Some of the helpful information on elder care will serve only as advice in helping the family pick out a nursing home for their loved one. There are many mistakes to be made when choosing a long-term care facility over a nursing home facility because one facility might center their care on people who suffer from dementia, and others are there to provide medical support after surgery only and the elder will be expected to move out when they are able to move around on their own.

Many of the websites on the internet that are centered around elderly care will provide more than helpful information on elder care. These sites are equipped with chat rooms that are perfectly suited for introducing elders to each other and will give them an area where they can share many experiences with each other. The chat rooms on these websites are easy to use and the friendships that are formed there will certainly enhance the quality of life to a person who enjoys meeting new people.

Many elders are not familiar with the differences in the elder care insurance policies that are offered today. They might not be able to differentiate between long-term care insurance and the medical insurance that they have through retirement plans and the Government benefits that are standard for all elderly persons. The helpful information on elder care insurance will guide them in the right direction and calm fears about getting older and being cared for properly in the later years of life.



Jada

James Brown asked:


Many family members feel that a deadbolt on the front door of their parent’s home will take care of any elder care safety issues that might harm them. There are other safety issues that family members never stop to consider and those considerations include what their parent’s state of mind is, the structural soundness of the building that they are living in, and the quality of the company that they keep.

The children of the elderly naturally assume that their parent’s are quite capable of making sound decisions and can take care of themselves. They may not realize that their parents have reached the age of regression and that they are now in need of someone to take care of their needs for a while. They might not be conscious about structural changes in the building where they live and may need someone to call a repairman before an accident occurs.

These are just elder care safety issues and are not meant to be confused with elder care inefficiencies that say they are incapable of living on their own. If the children of elderly parents would simply take the viewpoint of being a second set of eyes for someone whose eyesight has dimmed a bit, then there should be no elder care safety issues that slip by unnoticed.

Many elderly people feel that they have been able to make their own decisions for a long time, and just because they have aged a bit over the years, it does not mean that they can not make the right decisions. They made bad judgments on people when they were young and vibrant and will most likely make some bad decisions in their elder years too. The elder care safety issues on trusting others should not go unobserved by children and they should feel comfortable in expressing concerns.

Some elder care safety issues surface when elderly people continue to drive automobiles when they have reduced vision or need a hearing aid. These are some of the bad decisions that the elderly might make and are ones that could cost them their lives in a very painful fashion. The children of the elderly should routinely ask their parents to drive them somewhere so that they can judge how well their driving skills still are without giving the elderly any cause to be concerned.

There are definitely elder care safety issues to be addressed if a family member is confined to a nursing home or assisted care facility. There are many opportunities for the elderly to be abused and when children make regular visits to check on the health and safety status of their loved one, it will be far easier to recognize the tell-tale signs that their parent has been abused since the last visit.



Leslie

Nancy Sheerin asked:


The Expo is designed to broaden the community’s awareness about resources available to help manage elder care issues. Throughout the day, attendees can visit information booths that promote good health and well-being and receive free health screenings.

At 11 a.m., Allen C. Waltman, M.D., Director, Geriatrics, Signature Healthcare PrimaryCare Affiliates will present the workshop “Primary Care in the Elderly”. Dr. Waltman is Board certified by the American Board of Internal Medicine and has additional distinctive qualifications in Geriatric Medicine.

Every attendee will receive a free copy of the latest EECO Resource Guide for Older Adults and Caregivers.

There will also be giveaways, raffle prizes, and refreshments. This free, one-day event is sponsored by Elder Education Community Outreach (EECO) and Old Colony Elderly Services’ Family Caregiver Support Program.

For more information, contact Sara Gassett at Old Colony Elderly Services, (508) 584-1561 ext. 272.

About Old Colony Elderly Services

Incorporated in 1974, Old Colony Elderly Services (OCES) is one of 27 private, non-profit Aging Services Access Points (ASAPs) in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.



The organization’s mission is to provide services which will support the dignity and independence of elders by helping them maximize their quality of life; live safely and in good health; and, prevent unnecessary or premature institutionalization.

OCES serves the towns of Abington, Avon, Bridgewater, Brockton, Carver, Duxbury, East Bridgewater, Easton, Halifax, Hanover, Hanson, Kingston, Lakeville, Marshfield, Middleboro, Pembroke, Plymouth, Plympton, Rockland, Stoughton, Wareham, West Bridgewater and Whitman.

The agency has 110 employees and operates more than 12 programs serving elders, their families and caregivers. For more information call (508) 584-1561 or visit the website at www.oc-elderly.org.



Terry

Carol McGowan RN and Cindy Streekstra RN asked:


Our aging loved ones are doing just fine. They seem to be going about their business as usual. There may be little things that are showing up, like the house is not as clean as usual or the lawn looks a little unkempt. But they’re probably busy and we know they will get the work done.

The Challenge - Family members see their aging loved ones as they have always seen them, denying their actual limitations, conditions and care needs.

We want our loved ones to stay as they are. We often see them as timeless. In acknowledging their changing conditions and needs, we don’t know what that might mean for us. Also, we will eventually have to face their death. Death is something we would rather avoid and denying this reality is a way of protecting ourselves. Many families face this sense of denial as loved ones age.

The Solution - Acknowledge that your loved ones will grow old, will exhibit physical, mental and emotional changes and will have changing care needs.

1. Begin “seeing” your loved ones as they really are. Step back and be objective about what you are seeing. Observe the following for changes:

• Condition of residence and yard

• Cleanliness of the inside of the residence

• Daily routines

• Ability to handle finances

• Personal hygiene

• Activity level and initiation of much loved hobbies, interests

• Ability to walk and/or move about safely

• Eating, cooking, food in the refrigerator – type, amount and freshness

2. Then listen carefully to what is being said and what is not being said.

• Spouses can easily cover up the limitations of their partners. These limitations are often not evident until something happens to the spouse with the most abilities.

• Aging loved ones won’t admit they are having problems or difficulties. This can be reflective of the depression era values and core beliefs that “we don’t tell” and “we can do it ourselves”. They don’t want to bother their family members and be a burden on others. Plus it’s none of the children’s business.

3. Children are emotionally not ready or wanting to see the changes. What might this mean for my family and me? What kind of time and resources is this going to take? I already have more than I can handle.

4. Admitting that loved ones conditions are changing brings up the vulnerability of our loved ones. This inevitably begins the emotional work of projecting the death of our loved ones. This is called anticipatory grieving.

5. Different family members may observe different changes. Depending on what role each family member plays with the aging loved ones, different limitations, changing conditions and care needs may be recognized.

6. Initiate discussions with your aging loved ones and other family members about these changes and care needs. If these changes put your loved ones at risk, immediate action may need to be taken to resolve an unsafe situation.

Acknowledging these changes is difficult. However, living in denial can lead to being unprepared if a crisis occurs, resulting in hasty decisions and few options. Step back and observe. What, if any, mental, physical and emotional changes do you see in your aging loved ones? Talk with other family members about changes they see. Acknowledge the changes you observe with your aging loved ones. Be proactive and begin to plan for for these changing care needs.



Caitlin

Curtis D asked:


I am thinking of starting a in-home, non-medical health care business for the elderly. I can’t seem to find any information on estimated first year earnings for this type of business. I am wanting to do something that really natters, but at the same time is going to feed my family! Any help on this, or how long before I should reasonably expect to see a profit will be greatly appreciated!

Caroline

Shelly H asked:


im 26 & wanting to go into health& social care of elderly ,i have some g,c,s,e, s but no certificates in this new area how do i find out more?i live in the bradford,west yorkshire area?please help.thankyou

Terrence

Carol McGowan RN and Cindy Streekstra RN asked:


When our family members are well, we usually do not think about what may happen in the future. As baby boomers age, they will become the largest group of elderly that our nation has ever had. And, their parents are aging as well. As a result of these two realities most families will be caring for aging loved ones.

The Challenge – Family members do not anticipate and prepare for being caregivers. We’re too busy with jobs, children and other responsibilities. Our parents seem to have an ageless quality about them. We live with a certain sense of denial about the aging of our loved ones and what their needs might be.

The Solution - Begin anticipating future needs and prepare for the possibility of family caregiving.

Every family will address their reaction to and the possible transition to family elder care in their own way. Preparing and planning for care of an elderly loved one helps families avoid having to make hasty decisions in a crisis situation. The more prepared the better. Planning provides choices.

1. Explore your family history regarding elder care, and elicit how each member of the family feels about caring for an elderly family member.

2. Recognize the realities of the current situation for example, pre-existing medical conditions and diagnosis.

• educate yourself and your family about your loved one’s condition and care needs.

• gather information that can be used for current and future elder care planning.

3. Include elders in the planning:

• they can help guide the planning, they may have already given a lot of thought or made provisions for many of the areas that need planning

• they can be involved in making the decisions for their future which helps take the guesswork out of planning.

How your family views elder care is based on family history, culture and religious upbringing. Each family member has his/her own values and beliefs about caring for aging parents.

Start the preparing now. What are your family history, culture and religious beliefs regarding taking care of aging parents? What is each family member’s feeling and level of commitment about caring for aging parents? What are the current care needs and realities of elder care in your family? Begin the conversation with your family members and parents. Start preparing for the future now.



Clarence

trishopesisters asked:


I have an offer to take care of an elderly relative. It is the same money as my current job, but would be cash only. How will that affect my situation 1)Re taxes and Social Security and 2) The joint mortgage I have with my partner??

Bridget

asked:


open prisons are no punishment but an inconvinience care homes for the elderly in some cases not all can be a nightmare

Kurtis